Hey! It’s been a while huh? We haven’t sat on this bench together in a long time so, if you want, I’d like to revive our time here with a bit of world building. When you’re ready I want you to clear your mind and take a deep breath…let the void fill up in darkness. When I get to three I want you to fill the void with an image of freedom.

..1..

…2…

….3….

Tell me what you see. 

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Oh…I see…yes! Interesting choice of freedom. There’s a boldness to it that’s just subtle enough to extend its message elegantly! It seems that you haven’t lost your touch. Now lemme ask you this, if my version of freedom looked different from yours would mine be inherently wrong? It’s this question that’s currently being thrown around in different forms across the medias of the world, but one that has existed since the dawn of religion. But there’s a deeper question I pose to you: Is your free will really free will? Do you feel like you truly have a choice to be whoever you want to be? Take some time to think about that as we dive into today’s topic.

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You know, I’ve always had question in regards to life in general: I was always hyper curious about why angels were whom they were and why demons were who they were and why we were so special when we didn’t have the perks of Heaven or the frivolity of Hell. It was those curiosities that led me to be a bit strange. I never really talked much about them because as I was growing up I was taught to accept this fact without question. The same could be said about my Christian upbringing altogether and before I get too ahead of myself this is not a hate post bashing on my parents and claiming I grew up in dire straights from a financial or religious standpoint: I believe my parents did what they could to guide me as best as they could based on the acceptance and knowledge they’d come across during their lifetime at that point. There’s nothing wrong with instilling virtues and values in your children through religion (in my case Christianity), however I ended up believing in God because my parents did; I studied my books of the Bible because my Awana Leaders would be proud of me; I memorized John 3:16 because my church community worshipped this verse more than the God who breathed life into John’s words. People who strayed away from the church were lost, people who rejected the church were heathens under the Devil’s Influence so I opted to keep my questions to a minimum and fake my belief until I believed it. I prayed over people, sang songs in the choir, meditated, fasted, you name it and I’d probably done it (except overseas mission work and becoming a church leader after schooling) but nothing really came up. It was only until I went beyond the 4 walls of Christianity were I started to see people and their ideals in a whole new light. It was after I almost committed suicide where I began to truly feel the power behind free will. It wasn’t immediate and I’m still discovering new things about myself as well as the world around me, but it’s within this string of events where I truly began to see the self destructive nature of Free Will within the confines of Religion. In essence:

“I wish I wasn’t born a Christian: I wish I had chosen to be a Christian.”

If Free Will is the crux of our belief system then we should be free to see the evidence and say “Ok, I’m all in” or “Nah, this ain’t it,” but the issue with being born into a system like this is that you get conflicting messages. As I stated above, you end up being told “this is just what we do” and you’re shown all the lines not to cross, but once you question this reality the community looks at you strange or brushes you off as if what you asked is common knowledge. “The people on the outside don’t understand because they’re on the outside and being like them is not good.” The irony lies within Free Will itself because if you can truly choose then you should be free to ignore it, to choose differently. There shouldn’t be an issue with you taking a break from a community or reject their mission altogether because Free Will says you can choose as you wish, but the people within that system display otherwise.

You could take this same example and apply it to democracy: If we truly wanted to, as a country, elect a dictatorship we technically could or if we decided to throw it all out in place of anarchy or an oligarchy we could do that too. The seeds to our own self destruction lies with in the confines of our systems. It’s what makes it powerful, but also what makes it fragile. I guess the more you have the more risk there is to have it run wild.

However, even with all this being said the painful truth behind this behavior hasn’t been revealed yet. We’ve all heard of people following the rules just because or going through the motions because it feels right. You might look at devotion like that and say “this comes from a sense of duty. “ You might say “the rituals we do are sacred and absolute,” but the problem is many have lost sight of why these rituals and rules exist in the first place. Why do we break bread and sip wine? Why do we kneel to pray? Why do we get baptized? Being truly involved is different than just being present but too many people are content with being present. Why is that?

Because it makes us feel safe, like we’re doing something but, in reality, we’re just as active as pillars of salt with this mentality. Too many of us are content to see the four walls and find safety, too many people want to see these borders because it means they don’t have to do anything. We end up never get off our collective asses and start actually doing something. The world stays simple within the walls built around the world, but once the complexity of life comes in it scares many of us back behind the wall. 

This is why I wish I chosen to be Christian! Because I know devout people who have gone through trails, saw the evidence, and said “Yes! I’m all in!” I also know people who have gone the opposite route and said “Thanks for your time, but this isn’t for me.” The difference with being brought up in these ideals and being introduced to them from an objective standpoint makes a big difference and, in my opinion, produces more stable beliefs because those beliefs are our own! The power behind your system, viewpoint, idea, passion, etcetera is yours and that’s what makes you and your true free will powerful. It may not be easy and it may be scary, but once you make it to where you want to be you’ll see that your life, your choices, your free will really does have power and meaning. My challenge to you is to go beyond yourself and ask the question “is my free will really my own?” 

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