So, let’s begin.

The hardest place to start is always the beginning…especially when talking about a subject that feels so wrong, but to not acknowledge and discuss it wouldn’t be very open and inclusive of me. So, as we talk about this subject I want to make it very clear that I find life very precious and do not intend this to encourage reckless behavior of ANY kind. My goal is to open dialogue about one of the hardest subjects out there: Physician Assisted Death (Suicide) for those with severe mental dissonance. 

First things first: What is Physician Assisted Death (Medically Assisted Suicide)? This is a practice where a physician will provide a lethal dose of medication for the patient to self administer (usually by ingestion) with the sole intent of ending the patient’s life. This practice is not standard for mental patients in the US and is only legal in a few states whereas Canada and Belgium have begun to explore this option with different laws and regulations around PAD/MAS for severe cases nationally. As far as physical traumas go, PAD/MAS is only done when the patient’s physical state is beyond medical restoration or the quality of life cannot be improved and even then the acting physician still needs to evaluate the options available and their own personal beliefs as a healthcare provider before proceeding.

“Sooooooo…what’s this got to do with mental patients? I mean, they can’t really make sound decisions on life or death if they’re being manipulated by a mental disorder or whatever!”

Well, I don’t believe that’s a fair assessment of the patient in question. Speaking from personal experience, I can say I personally didn’t want to die just for the sake of dying: I wanted to escape from the situations life had me in at the time, I wanted to release my family from the failure and shame I brought to them, I didn’t want to feel pain every waking moment. I still had the mental capacity to fake emotions, assess what I thought was dangerous and find ways around them, and I still was of sound enough mind to understand the difference between dying just because and escaping pain. These were not lost because I had severe depression with a possible undiagnosed condition so to say people with mental disorders and the like don’t have the mental capacity to make clear decisions about their life and their desire to end their mental pain by any means available isn't correct in my opinion. There are plenty of people who live with mental disorders who function just as well as, if not better than, people who don’t. The biggest difference lies within their Mindscape and how toxic it may be.

Now, I don’t believe the process should be done without the right kind of care: This is a HUGE decision and just like with someone who has a brain tumor or rapidly spreading cancer all options MUST be reviewed before PAD/MAS is a viable option. Currently, Canada requires there be an 18 month time period where all options are explored to improve the quality of life for someone suffering with an aggressive mental illness. If the quality of life cannot be improved or worsens within that time span the request for PAD/MAS can be authorized at that time. All these steps have to be documented and time must be set aside to set affairs in order and let loved ones know the situation at hand. Having this option available and done in this manner not only dignifies the patient suffering but also gives a family peace of mind that the patient didn’t pass on in a visceral manner.

See, what a lot of people don’t realize is a lot of pain we feel when someone takes their own life doesn’t necessarily come from them dying: it comes from how they died. Knowing that a loved one was most likely scared, confused, and alone adds on to the tragedy at hand and with some people finding their loved ones in graphic states (depending on the method of choice) this adds to the collateral damage left behind. This doesn’t bode well since a majority of suicides are done by firearm or suffocation and I don’t believe I need to elaborate on the methods available within those two options. 

“So are you saying we should just let people die then?? We’re just gonna let people go to their doctors and kill themselves??”

No, this is not what I’m promoting. I STRONGLY believe in fighting for the life of person as much as we can, but at what point do we look at the suffering individual and realize we’re going against their wishes? At what point does our personal agenda to preserve life become harmful to the person at hand? Take someone dealing with untreated schizoaffective disorder: their paranoia always on 11, always thinking someone is out to get you, constantly living in fear of hidden messages within the confines of society, not being able to trust your own mind because reality and fantasy blend into each other seamlessly. What if this person was you and this was your mental state EVERY day? Medicine didn’t work when you deemed it safe to take, psychotherapy didn’t help because every word felt like an attempt at manipulation, hobbies didn’t distract you because the voices you’d hear or the images you’d see wouldn’t give you enough time to breathe. You exist in this constant state waiting for release, but no release came. Similar conditions can be met under Major Depressive Disorder, Aggressive Bipolar I or II, Constant Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Severe Paranoid Personality Disorder, and so on. I’m not saying this is the only way out and I’m not saying everyone with a mental disorder is under this kind of distress every day because there are plenty of people (myself included) who live without going through constant periods of anguish with the support medications, natural solutions (like dōTERRA), and/or support groups that keep us balanced. However, there are a small percentage of people who have tougher mindscapes to navigate and they can be more unrelenting than we can see. 

All in all, I believe it’s our duty to seek out understanding, especially when it comes to issues we can’t tangibly see or physically touch. Personally, I’m kind of torn between the two aspects because while I would have clearly chosen to exercise my right to die if it were available about a decade ago I’ve also seen myself grow and I’ve been given the chance to chase my dreams again now that I’m 25 and pushing forward with you guys. I will say I’m not opposed to the idea because the methods many people use to end their lives usually end up being very gruesome and are typically done alone leaving many unanswered questions for both parties and plenty of pain due to the confusing tragedy that took place. With a proper set of guidelines in place you could still try to improve the quality of life, but if life did not improve at least there would be a chance to speak with those you care for before moving on from this life.

My challenge to you is not necessarily to agree with PAD/MAS or disagree with it: my challenge to you is to seek out understanding with those who struggle with mental disorders. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t make it any less real and in seeking understanding you might not only broaden your horizons, but potentially save somebody’s life. I know if it weren’t for a few select people in my life currently and a few who are on another path right now I wouldn’t be here. So thank you to those who connected with me if you happen to read this because your connections saved my life.

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If you've made it to the end I wanna thank you for reading! I know this is not an easy topic to discuss, but I truly feel like opening up the floor on this could not only help us understand others, but also encourage others to speak up and ask themselves tough questions. At the end of the day I strive to be a person who will listen, learn, and share my thoughts and when it comes to mental health I want to advocate all sides as best as I can while I learn more.

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Until Next Time!